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Murphy's Laws Of Combat
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
a. When you're ready for them.
b. When you're not ready for them.
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
This really isn't funny!US Pilots need a good plane???? Ebay Baby
Sensitive Military Items Bought on eBay, Craigslist
By Dan Dupont April 10, 2008 | 4:00:00 PMCategories: Cops and Robbers, Crime, Planes, Copters, Blimps
Night-vision goggles, armor vests, F-14 fighter components that could only be used by Iran -- these and other sensitive military items, some stolen from the U.S. military, have been purchased by undercover government officials . . . on Craigslist and eBay, according to the Government Accountability Office (.pdf).
We found numerous defense-related items for sale to the highest bidder on eBay and Craigslist from January 2007 through March 2008. A review of eBay and Craigslist policies and procedures determined that, although these Web sites have taken steps to regulate their user communities and define items that are prohibited from sale, there are few safeguards to prevent sensitive and stolen defense-related items from being sold to either domestic or foreign users of these sites. During the period of our investigation, undercover investigators purchased a dozen sensitive items to demonstrate how easy it was to obtain them. The items were shipped to us “no questions asked.” Many of these items were stolen from the U.S. military. According to DOD, it considers the sensitive items we purchased to be on the U.S. Munitions List, meaning that there are restrictions on their overseas sales. However, if investigators had been members of the general public, there is a risk that they could have illegally resold these items to an international broker or transferred them overseas. Many of the sensitive items we purchased could have been used directly against our troops and allies, or reverse-engineered to develop countermeasures or equivalent technology.
Of all the sobering revelations in the report, this one stands out:
Two F-14 components from separate buyers on eBay. F-14 components are in demand by Iran. Given that the United States has retired its fleet of F-14s, these components could only be used by the Iranian military. By making these components available to the general public, the eBay sellers provided an opportunity for these components to be purchased by an individual who could then transfer them to Iran. The continued ability of Iran to use its F-14s could put U.S. troops and allies at risk.
Oh yes, and the seller of one key F-14 component, GAO tells us, obtained his antenna "from an individual located in the Denver, Colorado, area, whose name and address he could not remember." GAO investigators were "unable to determine how this part became available to the general public."
American Soldier's Toys
Airplane Maintenance
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked witha P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
John Price
Big boy toys
We can stop this thing on a dime!
Murphy's Military Laws.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Iraq's Navy
America's Navy'God blessed the USA..HAHA
All is fair in love and war..haha
In the line of fire!
Advice for Military Personnel
Aim towards the enemy." ---
Instructions printed on U.S. Army Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." ---
U.S.M.C. Training Bulletin
"Cluster bombing from B-52's is very, very accurate.
The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." --- U.S.A.F. Literature
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." --- Infantryman's journal
"A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.
That would make you quite unpopular in left of your unit." --- Army's Magazine of Preventative Maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." --- U.S.A.F. Manual
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." --- Infantryman's journal
"Tracers work both ways." --- U.S. Army Ordinance Manual
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." --- Infantryman's journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." Infantryman's journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." --- Infantryman's journal .
Any ship can be a minesweeper....once." --- Anonymous Naval brass
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." --- Unknown Marine recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." --- Your buddies
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - Unknown
A little meassage from Maxine
Why soldiers fight for our country!
Because there is no place like America!!
why you ask?..
Only In America
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.
Valuable guide to international laws
Soldiers please read!
HA-HA
provided for entertainment.
Australia
Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them. You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle. It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar. It is illegal to read someone's tarot, or give them a psychic reading as these are forms of witchcraft.
Under Australian Communications Authority (ACA) regulations, your modem can't pick up on the first ring. If it does the ACA permit for your modem is invalid and there's a $12000 fine. - Telecommunications Act 1991.
England
Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license. It is illegal to leave baggage unattended. Picking up abandoned baggage is as act of terrorism.
France
Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers.
Thailand
It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear. You must wear a shirt while driving a car.
You must pay a fine of $600 in Thailand if you're caught throwing away chewed bubblegum on the sidewalk. If you do not pay the fine, you are jailed. No one may step on any of the nation's currency.
Get a scroller sign at http://www.myglitterromance.com!
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